You know the bed feels warmer,
Sleeping here alone,
You know I dream in color,
And do the things I want.
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone.
Think you left me broken down
Think that i'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean i'm over cause you're gone
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me myself and i
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger,
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean i'm lonely when i'm alone
You heard that I was starting over with someone new,
They told you I was moving on, over you,
You didn't think that I'd come back, i'd come back swinging
You try to break me but you see
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
stand a little taller
doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause your gone.
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day I left was just my beginning..... in the end...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, Myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
I'm not alone
3.30.2012
Dearest My Beloved BFFs
Dear BFFs,
I just wanted to write to you guys. I hope you'll read it. Even though not today but someday. I wrote this in English, but you can translate it if you get to read this and don't understand. I just want to say sorry to each and every one of you if I did something wrong or have hurt you in the past.
- To Dita :
I just want to say sorry if I've ever hurt your feelings and haven't been a great sister or best friend to you. I hope that you will forgive me for all the bad things I've done or probably words that I said that made you fell sad and disappointed in me. I care about you as my best friend and little sister. I think about you and what is best for you as well. I hope you understand my feelings towards you and I hope our friendship will be to the end of our life together. Love you ~
- To Nouvhi :
I just want to apologize for everything I've done to hurt you or even made you feel disappointed. Even though we misunderstand each other sometimes and get in to little fights, but we can never be angry at each other because we care to much about each other. I hope our friendship will last forever. Until our children can be best friends like us. Love you ~
- To Intan :
I'm sorry Intan, if I had hurt your feelings. I made you hate me and being angry at me. Fighting is always a cure to become good friends, that's what I've heard. I miss talking to you and joking around with you. Even though you don't like me or even treat me as your BFFs anymore, that's okay. I still care for you. I hope we can put our differences behind us and start a new page in our book of friendship. I still want us to be friends and I hate fighting and talking about each other behind each others back. I hope you will still forgive me. Friends Forever. Love you ~
- To April :
Even though I haven't met you in person, but I know you'll be my BFFs too. We get along so well even though it's only on facebook and twitter. But it feels like I knew you my whole life. I also want to say sorry if I ever hurt your feelings with my words. I hope we can be friends until we get old. Love you ~
Thank you BFFs for wanting to be my BFFs and want to get to know me. I hope we can all forgive each other for what we did in the past and make a new future ahead of us for our friendship. I forgive you all even though you hurt me on purpose or not. But I hope one day, we can understand our differences and become friends until we get old.
I'm sorry again if I've hurt your feelings in the past and for in the future. I just want to be honest, deep in my heart that I'm so sorry. I hope you'll forgive me.
Dearest Daddy
Dear Daddy,
It's been 4 months already I've lived with mama and it's been 4 months I haven't seen or spoke to you. Are you doing well? Are you happy I'm not there anymore? You seem not to care for me even though I live with mama. You never ask me how am I? As usual. Are you taking good care of my sister and brother? Are you as busy as always?
*If you are reading this*
Hope you are well. Be healthy and be a good dad to Caithlyn and Ethan. Be there for them if though you're busy. Make some time for your real family. Especially Caithlyn is going to graduate from Junior High next year. So please give her your support as a dad, not like you did to me. And Ethan, he's still little. He still needs love from you. Even though you give them money, they'll still wish you were there for them especially in important times. You still have time daddy to change. It's never too late to learn from your mistakes. That's what you always said to me. So you still have a chance to be a good dad to Caithlyn and Ethan, even though you weren't as great to me.
I've grown up, and starting my future with or without you. I hope I get your blessing through each path and step I make. Even though they're right and wrong. Thank you for taking care of me for the past 19 years of my life. Thank you even though you weren't a great dad to me but I still appreciate you as my dad.
Thank you daddy ~
I love you always and forever ~
Love always your daughter,
Jessica Ekarahayu Astra
3.29.2012
Dearest Y.O.U
Dearest ex-BFF,
I always thought of you as my best friend. Not just a classmate, but a friend that I can relay on. Someone that I can trust with my secrets, a friend that I can talk to not being shy, just being myself, and a friend until we get old. But I guess I was wrong about you. You weren't my best friend at all. You really were good acting as my best friend but now I know who you really are.
*If you are reading this*
To be honest, I blocked you from my Facebook is not that I can't face you. It's not that I'm scared of you, it's because I'm tired of dealing with you. I'm tired reading your status that's for me (even though they're not for me, but from those words they're FOR me). It's not that NOW I'm NOT in BALI that I'm brave enough to talk about you behind your back or in the computer world, even though I still lived in BALI, I would still respect you as my BEST FRIEND! However you don't think that way. You think 100% differently than me. You get angry before finding the solution to solve both our differences and problems. Even though you act different in front and in the back of me, I treat you EQUALLY as my BEST FRIEND! Even though they're some things I don't like about you, but I try to like them. I try me best to be patience with you.
I really want to talk to you, but don't know what and how to talk to you. I even say happy birthday to you to be a good friend that I remembered your birthday, you make a status about me. Did you ever think that I care about you? Did you ever think that I could get hurt to by your words? Just to be honest with you, I care about you. You're my best friend. Best friends can get in fights. Best friends can forgive. Why can't you forgive me? I forgave you when you hurted me. I gave you so many chances. I opened my heart for you because I thought you were always someone special in my heart, you were always going to be there in my life. I never thought that our friendship would end just because of a stupid status.
If I ever hurted you in the past, forgive me. If you never want to meet me, write me, or even be friends with me, it's okay. I forgive you for every mistake you made to me. I hope you can change yourself for the better. Be a better person than before. 난 당신을 사랑한다 ex-BFF.
I've held this pain too long. I want to let it out now. Even though you'll never read this letter. But at least I wrote how I felt. One day, you'll read this and I hope you understand how I felt. Thank you for being my friend in the past and the best for you in the future. Hope to see you again :)
Love always,
Chicha Diksita
3.22.2012
My Birthday Present to My BFF, Taa Itaa Dieta ❤
One of my BFFs, Taa Itaa Dieta had her 18th birthday on March, 5 2012 ♥
I wasn't there for her birthday, but at least I thought of her. I hope she can do the same for me on my birthday :) the thought that matters...
I wasn't there for her birthday, but at least I thought of her. I hope she can do the same for me on my birthday :) the thought that matters...
Hari Raya NYEPI (Day of Silence)
Nyepi is a Balinese "Day of Silence" that is commemorated every Isakawarsa (Saka new year) according to Bali's calendar (in 2012, it will be on March 23rd). It is a day of silence, fasting, and meditation. The day following Nyepi is also celebrated as New year.
Observed from 6 a.m. until 6 a.m. the next morning, Nyepi is a day reserved for self-reflection and as such, anything that might interfere with that purpose is restricted. The main restrictions are: no lighting fires (and lights must be kept low); no working; no entertainment or pleasure; no traveling; and for some, no talking or eating at all. The effect of these prohibitions is that Bali’s usually bustling streets and roads are empty, there is little or no noise from TVs and radios, and few signs of activity are seen even inside homes. The only people to be seen outdoors are the Pecalang, traditional security men who patrol the streets to ensure the prohibitions are being followed.
Although Nyepi is primarily a Hindu holiday, non-Hindu residents of Bali observe the day of silence as well, out of respect for their fellow citizens. Even tourists are not exempt; although free to do as they wish inside their hotels, no one is allowed onto the beaches or streets, and the only airport in Bali remains closed for the entire day. The only exceptions granted are for emergency vehicles carrying those with life-threatening conditions and women about to give birth.
On the day after Nyepi, known as Ngembak Geni, social activity picks up again quickly, as families and friends gather to ask forgiveness from one another, and to perform certain religious rituals together.
Rituals
First, The Melasti Ritual is performed at the 3-4 previous day. It is dedicated to Sanghyang Widhi Wasa and is performed at the beach to respect them as the owner of The Land and Sea. The ritual performed in Pura (Balinese temple) near the sea (Pura Segara) and meant to purify Arca, Pratima, and Pralingga (sacred objects) belongs to several temples, also to acquire sacred water from the sea.
Second, The Bhuta Yajna Ritual is performed in order to vanquish the negative elements and create balance with God, Mankind, and Nature. The ritual also meant to appease Batara Kala by Pecaruan offering. Devout Hindu Balinese villages usually make ogoh-ogoh, demonic statues made of bamboo and paper symbolizing negative elements or malevolent spirits. After the ogoh-ogoh have been paraded around the village, the Ngrupuk ritual takes place, which involves burning the ogoh-ogoh.
Third, The Nyepi Rituals is performed with the following conditions:
Amati Geni: No fire/light, including no electricity
Amati Karya: No working
Amati Lelunganan: No travelling
Amati Lelanguan: Fasting and no revelry/self-entertainment
Fourth, The Yoga/Brata Ritual starts at 6:00 AM and continues to 6:00 AM the next day.
Fifth, The Ngembak Agni/Labuh Brata Ritual is performed for all Hindus to forgive each other and to welcome the new days to come.
Sixth and finally, The Dharma Shanti Rituals is performed as the Nyepi Day or "Day of Silence."
Nyepi/Silent Day in 2009 will be on 26 March 2009 Nyepi/Silent Day in 2010 will be on 16 March 2010 Nyepi/Silent Day in 2011 will be on 05 March 2011 Nyepi/Silent Day in 2012 will be on 23 March 2012
Observed from 6 a.m. until 6 a.m. the next morning, Nyepi is a day reserved for self-reflection and as such, anything that might interfere with that purpose is restricted. The main restrictions are: no lighting fires (and lights must be kept low); no working; no entertainment or pleasure; no traveling; and for some, no talking or eating at all. The effect of these prohibitions is that Bali’s usually bustling streets and roads are empty, there is little or no noise from TVs and radios, and few signs of activity are seen even inside homes. The only people to be seen outdoors are the Pecalang, traditional security men who patrol the streets to ensure the prohibitions are being followed.
Although Nyepi is primarily a Hindu holiday, non-Hindu residents of Bali observe the day of silence as well, out of respect for their fellow citizens. Even tourists are not exempt; although free to do as they wish inside their hotels, no one is allowed onto the beaches or streets, and the only airport in Bali remains closed for the entire day. The only exceptions granted are for emergency vehicles carrying those with life-threatening conditions and women about to give birth.
On the day after Nyepi, known as Ngembak Geni, social activity picks up again quickly, as families and friends gather to ask forgiveness from one another, and to perform certain religious rituals together.
Rituals
First, The Melasti Ritual is performed at the 3-4 previous day. It is dedicated to Sanghyang Widhi Wasa and is performed at the beach to respect them as the owner of The Land and Sea. The ritual performed in Pura (Balinese temple) near the sea (Pura Segara) and meant to purify Arca, Pratima, and Pralingga (sacred objects) belongs to several temples, also to acquire sacred water from the sea.
Second, The Bhuta Yajna Ritual is performed in order to vanquish the negative elements and create balance with God, Mankind, and Nature. The ritual also meant to appease Batara Kala by Pecaruan offering. Devout Hindu Balinese villages usually make ogoh-ogoh, demonic statues made of bamboo and paper symbolizing negative elements or malevolent spirits. After the ogoh-ogoh have been paraded around the village, the Ngrupuk ritual takes place, which involves burning the ogoh-ogoh.
Third, The Nyepi Rituals is performed with the following conditions:
Amati Geni: No fire/light, including no electricity
Amati Karya: No working
Amati Lelunganan: No travelling
Amati Lelanguan: Fasting and no revelry/self-entertainment
Fourth, The Yoga/Brata Ritual starts at 6:00 AM and continues to 6:00 AM the next day.
Fifth, The Ngembak Agni/Labuh Brata Ritual is performed for all Hindus to forgive each other and to welcome the new days to come.
Sixth and finally, The Dharma Shanti Rituals is performed as the Nyepi Day or "Day of Silence."
Nyepi/Silent Day in 2009 will be on 26 March 2009 Nyepi/Silent Day in 2010 will be on 16 March 2010 Nyepi/Silent Day in 2011 will be on 05 March 2011 Nyepi/Silent Day in 2012 will be on 23 March 2012
3.12.2012
SHINee ❤
I'm such a KPOP fan especially when it comes to SHINee! I ❤ SHINee.
My favorite SHINee is Leader Onew and Almighty Key.
But they're all great especially they are really nice and funny.
Even though I haven't met them, but I could tell from all there shows. :)
Saranghae SHINee ❤
Fighting! Keep making music and making your fans happy!
My favorite SHINee is Leader Onew and Almighty Key.
But they're all great especially they are really nice and funny.
Even though I haven't met them, but I could tell from all there shows. :)
Saranghae SHINee ❤
Fighting! Keep making music and making your fans happy!
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| SHINee on Hello Baby |
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| SHINee - HELLO |
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| SHINee Calender |
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| SHINee w/ Yoogeun (Hello Baby) |
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| SHINee w/ Yoogeun (Hello Baby) |
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| SHINee Members |
3.06.2012
Trying to Adapt to My New Life with mama
It's already been 3 months I've lived back in America especially in New York. It's so hard for me to adapt to New York. How to live in NYC?! Anyone have advice? And it's also hard for me because it's been so long I haven't lived with my mom and now finally I'm living with her. ❤
New York it's just so crowded and I'm trying to hard to do everything right so my mom would be happy. But she's never been happy since I came. I just made it worse. I'm trying my best to make her proud too.
I know it's hard for my mom when she's working and I'm home alone. She always thinks and worries about me and I'm grateful but sometimes I just can't act thankful for her being there for me. I always seemed to act ungrateful to her when she tells me something. I always yell at her even though I wasn't going to. I'm just trying to get use to everything. Especially the love and careness of my own mom. Even though I grew up with my dad and I'm already use to not being cared at all but I seem to have that same old attitude when I'm with my mom and I don't know how to get rid of it.
Mama, if you are reading this. I'm sorry I can't be your perfect daughter that can do everything and always make you proud. Give me time to adapt and change just for you. I'm trying my best but I also know it's not good enough. But I will learn, will change and will adapt. I will adapt and change everything about me just for you :')
I'm sorry I also make you stressed and cry. I just want to make things right now.
I love you mama :')
Always and forever ❤
New York it's just so crowded and I'm trying to hard to do everything right so my mom would be happy. But she's never been happy since I came. I just made it worse. I'm trying my best to make her proud too.
I know it's hard for my mom when she's working and I'm home alone. She always thinks and worries about me and I'm grateful but sometimes I just can't act thankful for her being there for me. I always seemed to act ungrateful to her when she tells me something. I always yell at her even though I wasn't going to. I'm just trying to get use to everything. Especially the love and careness of my own mom. Even though I grew up with my dad and I'm already use to not being cared at all but I seem to have that same old attitude when I'm with my mom and I don't know how to get rid of it.
Mama, if you are reading this. I'm sorry I can't be your perfect daughter that can do everything and always make you proud. Give me time to adapt and change just for you. I'm trying my best but I also know it's not good enough. But I will learn, will change and will adapt. I will adapt and change everything about me just for you :')
I'm sorry I also make you stressed and cry. I just want to make things right now.
I love you mama :')
Always and forever ❤
3.01.2012
Good Morning MARCH :)
Today is official MARCH in NY :)
1.03.12, what a beautiful date ...
Woke up in the morning, it wasn't actually the best weather today. It was gloomy and about to rain. But I love it when we start a new month :)
My #MARCHwish : get a camera SLR (hopefully), diet is a success, get the school that my mom wants me to get, get a great job, and can come home to BALI to see my beloved siblings, boyplend and BFFs.
Lets start a brand new month with a smile and keep moving forward :)
Happy March!
Happy Thursday!
And happy the 1st :)
March please be nice to me :)
love ya lotsss !!
1.03.12, what a beautiful date ...
Woke up in the morning, it wasn't actually the best weather today. It was gloomy and about to rain. But I love it when we start a new month :)
My #MARCHwish : get a camera SLR (hopefully), diet is a success, get the school that my mom wants me to get, get a great job, and can come home to BALI to see my beloved siblings, boyplend and BFFs.
Lets start a brand new month with a smile and keep moving forward :)
Happy March!
Happy Thursday!
And happy the 1st :)
March please be nice to me :)
love ya lotsss !!
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