Are you a Child of God? Which God?

For about the past year, I've been in a religion dilemma. My mom is Christian and my dad is Hinduism and by the way, my parents' are divorced.

I followed my dad's religion ever since I was young and it's in my blood but since I moved with my mom, I've been going to church. I go to church because I want to respect my mom's wishes that she wants to move on with her life, be reborn again in her new life with Christ and go to church. I go for the sake of her and nobody else. It's not that I don't believe in God, but I already have a God that I believe in. Nothing personal though, it's just my heart has been filled up by something and someone else.

The people in my mom's church have been asking me to join in all the church events and some of them keep saying I should be baptist or I should come in the path if Christ. I respect them for doing that, promoting their lifestyles and their relationship with God, but to me I feel nausea and heartache at the same time. They always say they're the children of God. Am I not too? I am but just in different beliefs. Isn't that the same?

Recently, I have been having problems with some people. They're so devoted to church. But in my mind, I always thought that people who went to church or even devoted their life for church would be holy and sinnless, always lived their life thru their bible, and never made mistakes — but I guess I was wrong. These people do make mistakes like I do and also bad-mouth about other people all the time and they call me a non-believer of God?

Maybe I'm not a believer of Christ but I know I am a believer of God. I know he is there watching me all the time. I maybe just go to church not to worship God, just to respect my mom and her friends but I also pray my own way. Just because my religion is different doesn't mean I don't have a religion.

I respect all religions and everybody should do the same. I respect the holidays but other people don't respect mine. I respect every part of every religion but they never respect mine. Each religion is the same, just it was created a different way and with a different name.

Which child of God are you? Do you know which one you belong to? Do you respect the other children of God? I know I do.

My Dreams – Are Not Just Dreams.

For the last two days, I've been having a hard time sleeping – not insomnia. It's not only because of this summer weather but I've been having bad dreams and it's been so hard for me to sleep.

Some people say that dreams are just something that you want to see or it's just a story in your mind  – like make believe; but for me, this one feels real; like it's something that God wants me to see and realize about what is happening in my life.

About my dream – 

I've been dreaming about a person that was trying to kill me. People that I knew were being killed just to protect me...

I would run from this person but I could never hide.

Once I would meet with that person and almost been killed; I would wake up and I would already be sweating and panting – like I just did a 10 mile jog.

I was so scared. I really thought that I would die soon. It felt so real. It felt like I was there. It felt so hard to forget it too.

Since I felt so unsecure, I tried google-ing meanings of dreams.

I found the meaning of being killed is:

"To dream that you have been killed suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions and conscience. The dream refers to drastic changes that you are trying to make. There is a characteristic that you want to get rid of or a habit that you want to end within yourself. Killing represents the killing off of the old parts and old habits. Alternatively, the dream represents feelings of being let down or betrayed by someone in your waking life. You are feeling overwhelmed, shocked and disappointed."

I was surprised when I saw this meaning of my dream. I was going thru a hard time in my life. I've been feeling lost since I moved from Bali. I had nobody that I can actually trust; even though I live with my own mom. It was depressing and sad. I also tried to get rid of the bad habits just for the people I cared about especially towards my mom.

I felt I was lost in a way before I had this dream and when after I had the dreams and I saw this meaning, it hit me.

It felt like a sign for me. Like God was telling me that I was just trying to get lost from everything that was and is surrounding me.

I hope this will be my last dream about being killed. I hope I can become a better person as my new age arrives soon.

Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti Om.

Promoting @jerastudios ♥

Hey everybody!

It's been a while I haven't wrote on my blog.

It's already 2013! Whoop Whoop!

So, I just wanted to promote my Photography Page. 

If you guys need a Photographer(in New York Area) or Photo Designer, you can contact me thru email : chichachikaa@gmail.com

You can check my other blog: chikaphotodesign.blogspot.com

Facebook Page : J.E.R.A studios

Twitter : @jerastudios

Instagram : @jerastudios

PATH : J.E.R.A studios

Check it out.

It's a professional service for those who need it.

I do enlargments, canvas prints, photo albums, stationary, etc.

Here is my business card. Please contact me for more information.

Cyber bullying, I've been there before.

I just watched the movie Cyberbully that was played by Emily Osment. It impressed me in a way. A lot of kids these days are being bullied on the internet especially on a social network. Like on Facebook, Myspace, or even Twitter. People that are the bullies may think it's funny being a cyber-bully, but it's wrong. I've been cyber-bullied before and I would tell you my story.

***

I remember like it was yesterday, Facebook was the hip social network and Twitter was just becoming popular in my school. I went to school at SMAK Santo Yoseph Denpasar Bali, Indonesia. I was in the 11th grade when I was being cyber-bullied from kids in the same grade as me.

I've been crazy about internet since I was in 9th grade when Friendster was the hip thing and then Facebook started I got more hyped about it. I love to update my status and upload my photos to Facebook. It was so cool to me. When the I was cyber-bullied by kids at my school in the 11th grade and my mom saw their words on my profile.

It was horrible! I was upset and nobody to talk to. Almost all the kids at my school hated me and picked on me on facebook. I just wanted to run away and delete my profile. They called me names, like fatty, coquettish (in indonesian), they would post that I look way different in my pictures than in real life, not even pretty, etc. But the funny part was the people I didn't even knew called me names and posted stuff on my facebook. And there were also kids that twittered me just mean things on Twitter. It's like my heart was made from stone. It's like they thought I wouldn't be heartbroken but I was and so disappointed too.

I always thought, what did I do to them? I don't even know them. Probably I see them at school but I don't know them that well. It always slipped in my mind what they said to me. It's my life not theirs and even the stuff they said before isn't even true. But at least I stood up for myself and never backed away from my problems. I just faced it day by day until the just started forgetting.

Typing right now about what they said about me is so sad and I wish it never happened to me but it did. I don't hate the people that called me names and tried to be tough in the cyberspace and behind my back and never had the guts to talk to me in person, but I wish they would understand if that happened to them. Something like that but worse.

We should stop cyberbullying to happen. It's wrong and the victims can be hurt because of the cyber-bullies words even though they thought it was just something fun to do. But to me, it's just wasting time and useless!

People said bad things (but I think I already erased & blocked the people that said bad things about me) but I fought back with these statuses.

Happy 20th Birthday CHIKA ❤

Finally, this day has come JULY 22, 2012. The day I turn 20 years old. I can't believe I'm turning 20 years old already! It's shocking and exciting to turn a year older today.
I just want to say all my thanks on my blog. Let's start! :D

Thank you ISHWW for this special day and I got to celebrate with special people. Thank you for giving me another year to live my diary of life. Thank you also for always looking out for me and always by my side. Astungkara my life will be guided by you through everything.

Thank you for my special superHERO, Mama Dearest. The person who gave birth to me, guided me, taught me, and loved me. Thank you for today. Even though you were sick, you still wanted to cook and buy a birthday cake for me. Thank you so much! <3

Thank you for my beloved SISTER & BFF, Caithlyn Dwi Agustina Astra, for the wishes and blessing. I wish you were here to celebrate with me but I'm thankful enough you remembered my birthday. Thank you little one :*

Thank you for my BFFs, Dita, Novi, Intan, April and Andry. Thank you for remembering my birthday. Even though we didn't celebrate it together but thank you for remembering. :') Miss you :*

Thank you my hubby, Girindra for the blessing and wishes wish there were more than that. A little disappointed but it's okay. Thank you though for remembering. :* miss you love you.

Thank you for FIBCNY. Thank you so much since the first day I arrived in NY you all were so welcoming and today it's my birthday I'm so grateful to celebrate with you guys. You made it so special and cheerful. It was a special day today for me getting to celebrate with each and every one of you. I'll cherish this day forever. Love you!

Thank you Youth of FIBCNY. Thank you for the card. It's lovely and I will put it up somewhere in my room. Thank you to Kelleh for the present, "Love Spell" (wish I can use it on someone. LOL). Thank you Uwak Barlian & Kak Juita for the card and gift card. That's very thoughtful of you. Thank you for Kak Tiff, Kak Amanda, Kak Fitha, Kak Tim, Kak Marc, Kak Lewi, Kelleh, Kak Theresia, Kak Beverly, Alex, Kak Tica, Kak Juita, Kak Melia, Kak Pierre, Kak Ima, Kak Johnny, and never forget Shirley for everything. You've all been so nice and welcoming to me. Hope we all can be close soon, give me a little bit more time. Thank you <3

Thank you for all my family in LA or BALI for the birthday blessings and thank you for the family in BALI that didn't remember at all, astungkara ISHWW will always bless you.

Thank you for all my friends for the birthday wishes and blessings. Through BBM, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and phone. Just so thankful today.

#birthdaywish : This year I become a better person, daughter, sister, girlfriend, and friend, my diet becomes a success, I get a job soon, get my accounting certificate soon too, and next year my own dad will remember his daughter's own birthday. Thank you Sang Hyang Widhi Wasa.

Thank you JULY 22, 2012 <3

​Happy 14th Birthday my baby sister, Caithlyn Dwi Agustina Astra ♥

​Happy 14th Birthday my Caithlyn Dwi Agustina Astra ({}) (˘⌣˘)ε˘`)

You're getting so big now! It just felt like yesterday mommy gave birth to you. :')

Hope you have an amazing birthday and a great time with your friends. At least I can see your smile on your birthday even though I'm not there to celebrate it.

Love always your big sister,


Chicha ❤

What's Your Korean Name?

I. Surname : Korean surname is the
last number in your year of birth.

0: Park
1: Kim
2: Shin
3: Choi
4: Song
5: Kang
6: Han
7: Lee
8: Sung
9: Jung

II. Middle name : is your month of birth.

1: Yong
2: Ji
3: Je
4: Hye
5: Dong
6: Sang
7: Ha
8: Hyo
9: Soo
10: Eun
11: Hyun
12: Rae

III. Name : is your date of birth.

1: Hwa
2: Woo
3: Joon
4: Hee
5: Kyo
6: Kyung
7: Wook
8: Jin
9: Jae
10: Hoon
11: Ra
12: Bin
13: Sun
14: Ri
15: Soo
16: Rim
17: Ah
18: Ae
19: Neul
20: Mun
21: In
22: Mi
23: Ki
24: Sang
25: Byung
26: Seok
27: Gun
28: Yoo
29: Sup
30: Won
31: Sub


The names might be good or weird .. but still let's have fun !!! ☺❤