Siblings?!

I have 2 younger siblings and they mean the world to me. They are my everything. 

When I was younger, I grew up alone for about six years until my baby sister came. I loved having a sister, especially since I was the oldest so in my head I could tell her what to do and what not to. It was an adventure having her around. We always played together and I would also help my mom take care of her from changing her diaper, making her milk, and even giving her a bath. I loved having her in my life and until this day I still do love having her. For the first 4 years of her life, we would always bicker. We were like cats & dogs my parents said. [I was the only child before my parents had my sister and I wasn't use to sharing everything with her and always got jealous but as I grew up, I grew to understand why my parents always taught me to share and always to relent as an older sister.]

When my mom had my brother, we got along more. We both adored him so much. He was so cubby and cute. My sister would always want to help my mom carry him and kiss him when my mom was she feeding him. They were the cutest and the most wonderful thing that I had in my life. I didn't get to spend much time with my brother when he was younger so I don't have much memories than I had with my sister. My dad told my mom to take my sister and brother to move to Bali, Indonesia — I was left in the States with my dad and to be apart from my siblings due to my parents economics in the States. At that moment they left, I realized I was missing something in my life, my siblings.

A few months later, I decided to go move to Bali and stay with my sister and brother so I can watch over them and so my parents didn't have to worry about them (but in that case, I was actually worried about them more). It was hard for me at first since I had to adapt in a new country and learn a new language. But 10 years past and I never regret living there, I just regret living the life of a broken home child but I will get to that later. Because of living in Bali, we grew closer to each other than ever. My sister and I are like an envelope and stamp; my brother and I weren't that close back then but now
since I'm not living with them anymore — he seems to miss me alot and he wants me to come home soon.

After 10 years I lived in Bali I am now writing this currently living in New York City. Again the seperation between the siblings continue. It's pretty hard for me now since I left my sister and brother who are still young with my dad that was never around for me growing up. Sometimes I just cry thinking of them and think what do they eat, do they have money, are they ok without me. Even though I look tough on the outside, I'm fragile in the inside and would rather cry by myself than make somebody else worry about me.

Everytime I would see a family, I would always want to cry and think of mine. Even when I see kids I know bicker with their siblings, I feel in pain because I can't do that with my own siblings. Everytime I would tell them to appreciate what they have and each other, they talk back to me and say I'm such a know it all about siblings or even say that A hates B, etc. [Actually, I'm still figuring out the sibling life. I always think back when I was by myself if I didn't have any siblings maybe I would have been a selfish person. Thank goodness I'm not!]

Thru the 21 years of my life, I've never regret having siblings or moving away to the country my parents grew up at. It was all such a new experience for me and if I hadn't had siblings at that time, I wouldn't have ever thought of moving to Bali and I would have met my wonderful best friends (but I will get to that later).

But this experience with my siblings made me grew into a girl who has more love to her siblings than herself. It also made me understand what people have and don't have. In a way, I'm glad God gave me a chance to experience this. It is hard for me, but I know God gave me this challenge because God knows I can accomplish it and one day everything will be back to normal. I will be reunited with my sister and brother again — as a family.

"Appreciate what you have today, because you don't know what will happen tomorrow."