3.06.2012

Trying to Adapt to My New Life with mama

It's already been 3 months I've lived back in America especially in New York. It's so hard for me to adapt to New York. How to live in NYC?! Anyone have advice? And it's also hard for me because it's been so long I haven't lived with my mom and now finally I'm living with her. ❤

New York it's just so crowded and I'm trying to hard to do everything right so my mom would be happy. But she's never been happy since I came. I just made it worse. I'm trying my best to make her proud too.

I know it's hard for my mom when she's working and I'm home alone. She always thinks and worries about me and I'm grateful but sometimes I just can't act thankful for her being there for me. I always seemed to act ungrateful to her when she tells me something. I always yell at her even though I wasn't going to. I'm just trying to get use to everything. Especially the love and careness of my own mom. Even though I grew up with my dad and I'm already use to not being cared at all but I seem to have that same old attitude when I'm with my mom and I don't know how to get rid of it.

Mama, if you are reading this. I'm sorry I can't be your perfect daughter that can do everything and always make you proud. Give me time to adapt and change just for you. I'm trying my best but I also know it's not good enough. But I will learn, will change and will adapt. I will adapt and change everything about me just for you :')

I'm sorry I also make you stressed and cry. I just want to make things right now.
I love you mama :')
Always and forever ❤

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